Vern: “Did ya har’ where ‘nuther wunna Mozart’s Austr’een buddies had wunna dem dadgum ‘mentuhl breakdowns?”
Fern: “Who’s ‘Mo’s-tart’, Vern?”
pun-ch line
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Vern: “Yeah, well they say they he locked hisself up ina golldurn chamber and was roll’ all up like a baby, Haydn under his pee-ana…”
A joke is the epigram on the death of a feeling…. Friedrich Nietzsche
Vern: “They say poor ol’ Geo has come down with that bad ol’ Lyme disease…”
Fern: “I guess we’ll have to bring him tea and crumpets from now on, then. Vern, what is a ‘crumpet’?”
Vern: “Sounds painful”.
Whaddid the lesbo say in the chez produce section?
“What shelf is the daikon?”
(zing)
Where they come up with that dadgum crazy spelled name,”Oaxaca”, anyway?
OK, so one time this Gringero with a speech impediment was on a “vacacio’n” down south of the yonder border thar’–long before Der Drumpf’s Wall, of course–and. he ain’t used to the water, see, and in the midst of, “Montezuma’s Revenge”, he yells out helpless, “WUH HACKININ’ TO ME?!”.
And it “stuck”, so to speak…
(p.s., that dadgum chihuahua stole my dawg’s jawb!
Vern: “Did y’all hear that them IHOPs is probly gonna be gittin’ speshull bathrooms just fer them thar’ trannies?”
Fern: “Nossir, Ah diddint.”
pun-ch line
————————–
Vern: “Ah guess theys is still wafflin’ ’bout it…”
A joke is the epigram on the death of a feeling….Friedrich Nietzsche
Hipster: “So, did you see where they are opening a new Frenchy breakfast shop next to the Statue of Liberty?”
Trendy: “Nupe.”
Hipster: “Yeah, they’re calling it, ” Statutory Crepe.”
(zing)
Nurse Bette: “So, did you hear where Dr. Payne quit medicine?”
Nurse Letti: “No”.
pun-ch line
———————-
Nurse Bette: ” He said he didn’t have the patience for it…”
A joke is the epigram on the death of a feeling….Friedrich Nietzsche
Fish 1: “What ever happened to Hal?”
Fish 2: “Last I heard he was floundering around in some night school with no particular porpoise.”
Fish 1: “Well, he did, as you know, ride in the “short bus” on account of the eyes, though I thought that was unfair.”
Fish 2: “Yes, quite unfair. His brain seemed OK, but he always said the operation left him flat on his back.”
Fish 1: “True. I always liked Hali, but as it turned out, he fell in with a bunch of bottom feeders off the coast of Sardinia and went right from the frying pan into the fire–so to speak.”
Fish 2: “I shutter at the thought. I think it all went South for him after that lobster kicked sand in his face…”
Fish 1: “He said he always felt like a shrimp after that…”
Fish 2: “I wouldn’t blame it solely on that though, Hal always had sort of a mean streak…”
Fish 1: “And I’m sure you would agree that many of his ideas seemed half-baked, rather flukey.”
Fish 2: “Surely.”
Fish 1: “Hey, never call me Shirley!”
(Uncontrollable laughter)
Fish 2: But I must admit I admired his attempts to liberate Tilikum, back in the day, before she ate that trainer…”
Fish 1: “Didn’t he dress up as a seal or something?”
Fish 2: “Oh my God, yes, it was an otterly brilliant ruse, and he almost pulled it off, until Security smelled something fishy going on and found Hal gasping for air in the kiddy pool!. It proved to be a net loss for him in the end.”
Fish 1: “Yes, of course, Hali was a salty kind of guy, but the risks he took almost finished him off, though I do admire the scale of his salmon-like commitment to a cause. Eventually the therapy seemed to make him a bit more snappy, though his wife proclaims he spends an inordinate amount of time rewatching,”Ocean’s 11″.
Fish 2: “That’s understandable, I suppose, given all poor Hali buddy had been through…
So, what are they serving tonight?…”
Fish 1: “Chicken”.
ze~robertinho 