Seraphims and Cherubims

Or, “Saran Wrap Fans and Cherry Bumbs”…

Yes, and I always get so confused as to ‘seraphims’ and ‘cherubims'(try saying that one 3 times fast, wow, what a tongue twister).  ‘Seraphims’ have, like, Saran Wrap for wings, right, and ‘cherubims’ are like super chubby li’l babies with curly white hair, I think–also, with the obligatory wings.  They live in the clouds, or stand on top of them or something, which begs the question, “why do they need the wings”?  But it’s good that they stay in the clouds, because I wouldn’t want one a them comin’ on down yonder har’ and taking my goddam pet angel’s JAWB!  That would be far worse than an invasion of the alleged, onoz, ‘Alien Anchor Babies’!

It is said they they exist in a hierarchy with other angels of their stock and breed, but they themselves like to refer to it as their ‘Li’l ol’ Collective’.  If I’m not mistaken, ‘Collective’ spend most or all of their time singing in a blissful choir and they perform(for free of charge of course since, like on Earth, nobody in the entire known Universe likes to pay for music) like at some Etheric Disco where they dance and dance some more , Euro-Techno style, and  drink booze and laugh and partay and all in all have a ghey ol’ time, which is not to say they ARE ghey, no, not ghey at all!  They are putting out some MP3 singles soon, to try and make some $ to support there insatiable booze habit.  They make their ‘Big ol’ Daddy’ smile!

The reason they do so much singing is, well, they likey to sing, ALOT–and who wouldn’t(?)–AND, they haven’t much else to do as since they, and ‘Dad’, are omniscient, they therefore are not omnipotent:  everything’s already happened.  That’s why they basically have to ignore and/or deflect all the billions of telepathic text messages they receive from one planet earth every damn day–it can be pretty annoying when you are rehearsing…in the choir(I speculate that the reason they sing so much is to ameliorate the frustration they fell for not being able to intervene in the tragedy of human affairs).  A few of them, the especially gifted and intelligent ones, also play these cra’y, twinkley toned string instruments called ‘harps’.  How weird is that?

One day, ‘Dad’s’ fav seraphim accidentally got tangled up in her/his plastic wings and smothered her/himself to death and the entire choir almost lost it, SO SADFACE! 😦  And they say the rivers of tears raining down from their collective eyes pretty much flooded out the entire Noah’s Ark Theme Park in Southern Kentucky(USA)–and took out a bunch of tourists and their kids and PET DOGS!  How could ‘Dad’ let this happen, who kills DOGS, for god’s sake?!  But, as explained above, ‘Dad’ saw it coming but could do absolutely nothing to stop it(well, ‘Dad’, hasn’t stopped anything on earth for, like, EVAR!)

But those incredibly cute and normally cheerful li’l angels just kept keeping on, ‘soldiering’ thru the pain and loss–even though they have no evolved nervous system–and sang SO HARD for the longest time over there fallen angel buddy that they say, if you go out into the wee hours of the night, and close your eyes and listen with great intent, you can almost hear those ‘heavenly’ tones….

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